I truly feel like Eze, in Eze Goes to School– that novel that was a right of passage for anyone who enrolled in primary school in the 80s in Nigeria. This past week (my 1st week at school), I have had to come to terms with learning in a controlled environment; working on assignments and quizzes for grades; and being a team player to my 15 classmates. I’m sure a lot of you are wondering why/when I decided to go to school, and whether it is a full time or part time program? I will speak about it here.
You should begin by reading my 1st post here where I spoke about the reason I quit my job in Nigeria. Essentially, it was because I knew I was bone-tired and exhausted with the cycle I was in; I had been tired a long time too. But I wasn’t sure if I was tired of living and working in Lagos; the politics and lack of infrastructure in Nigeria; tired of my profession at the time or all three issues combined. Indeed I have spent the last 5 months in Canada working to unravel my source of tiredness. I haven’t gotten a final answer, but I definitely have more clarity about myself and what I could be doing to find more fulfillment in my life.
After I applied for and got a job here, I was pretty excited. In fact this is a feat I am still very proud of. I wrote about how I secured a good job two months after landing in Canada here. However, when I resumed to work that 1st week and after the initial excitement wore off, it was a struggle getting back into the 9-5 schedule. I began to dread waking up in the morning and going into the office. One major reason I think was because this new job in Canada reminded me a great deal of my job back in Nigeria and in all the negative ways. I had uprooted myself from my life, my parents, my family, my boyfriend, my friends in Nigeria to start out fresh elsewhere only to have the same anxiety in the pit of my stomach early in the morning. What was the whole point then of the shake up in my life? The thing with courage is that the more you exercise it, the better you get at it.
So, in the 2nd week of my new job, I resigned without a concrete plan. Loooooooool 🙂 Really 2018 has been my year of experimentation, jumping 1st and asking questions later. A lot of well meaning articles online will tell you to have a backup plan before leaving your job and they are very correct. In my case, relocating to Canada was my backup plan; so the decision nor too get k-leg laidat. Another reason I was quick to quit was because I have some money saved up to cover my monthly expenses for a number of months. Thirdly, there’s a social welfare system here that cares for the vulnerable compared to Naija so if all else fails, at least that one sef dey.
That’s how I quit my new job in Canada and stayed indoors for two straight weeks- hovering between intense excitement and intense fear. The third week, after moping around my room for a couple of hours and calculating how expensive my monthly rent was, I downloaded the audio book version of Mark Manson’s- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and listened from the beginning to the end. After I was done, I shook off my paralyzing fear and began scheming for the next stage of my life.
I wrote down all the topics and areas in life that interested me and started streamlining until I got down to facilitating/teaching. I did some research on schools/programs I could enroll in here in Ontario and I realized my Permanent Residency status enabled me to enroll for any program as a domestic student. Of course, being a domestic student means you pay domestic school fees which typically is half the tuition of International students. I also did some research on OSAP and discovered I was eligible to receive provincial government assistance to support me in paying my tuition.
And that’s how my journey to becoming a student began. I presented my Bachelor’s degree from Nigeria, my credentials assessment document and put in an application for graduate studies in one of the Universities in Ontario. I’m learning to trust this process of becoming. The biggest fallacy of living in these times of social media is falsely believing that everyone else has got their sh*t together. Izz lie ooohhh. We are all just doing the best we can, given the circumstances we find ourselves in, and our belief system.
And so for the next 8 months, I plan to apply myself in school and find ways/opportunities to becoming self employed and eventually running a business. The 9-5 life is sweet oh, but I think I’m at a point in life where I am looking for more meaning in my career life. I don’t have a clear picture of how everything will turn out, how the puzzle fits; but I have found that honoring oneself is a great starting point.
I keep trusting and believing today because that’s all I can do. The path is unclear still, but we move…
28 comments
Sometimes you have to do things in a radical way to get to a point of fulfillment. I’m so happy that you were able to quit your job and develop a plan of attack. What are you studying for your PG certificate?
I think so too Sinmi. Thank you! I’m getting certified to teach English
I like this blog post because I feel in the last couple of months I have had to make decisions and live with it (Courage). People around you will keep asking why but I think the older one gets you realise your happiness and your state of mind is the important thing. Congratulations on your new achievement. Enjoy the ride.
Thank you Tolulope. I say all the time- Courage requires continuous cultivating. You do one thing, you grow courageous, you do another and your courage increases. Cheers to your bravery ???
You know what? I like your decision. I am also thinking of studying when I get to Canada but that’s not the point. The point is that is that you’re doing what makes you happy. Here in Nigeria, our goal is to get a good job and make money even if we hate it but you have a choice to do what you want so I applaud you. God’s blessings.
Thank you Adaeze. Honestly!!! My personal vow from here on out is being present everyday, in my life and my reality. No more doing things because what will people think. Huge hugs ??
Finding career fulfillment is a journey, one that can take while to figure out so it’s totally okay to not have everything on lockdown for the get go. I admire the courage with which you’ve approached “your journey”, I trust that things will get clearer to you. Well part of the bliss of being faraway from Naija is that you can truly zone out and do you without any meddling. Congrats on this new phase. I hope to read more about this phase.
Amen. Yes, I’m hopeful it becomes clearer. The thing with being on the right path is that you find helpers along the way. My life thus far is a testament to this. I agree 100% about the absence of meddling here. However, the flip side is you have to consciously look for trusted folks to sound your ideas to sometimes, to stay grounded. Thank you ?
Of all the posts you’ve published till now, this one has hit me the hardest. What with getting a job over there and resigning in week two without an idea where you’re headed. I applaud your bravery. And while I can see why it’s easier to do for you – your savings, the supportive system over there – I think at some point we all need to re-evaluate our lives and recalibrate. I’m at that point myself, in some way. While I can’t ditch my tiring, low-paying job just like that because I don’t have any solid backup for now, I’m ditching my apartment (along with all its unnecessary bills despite lack of basic facilities), laying low somewhere to re-strategize and find myself again. Somehow, someway, the desired endpoint is getting out of this place finally, but while that process is loading, I’m going to keep working to let myself loose of these shackles weighing me down. You’ve given me some ‘ginger’.
Thank you for sharing. Your journey through life (not just the sojourn to ‘another world’) has been really interesting and I’m happy to read as you go along making life worth it. Never stop doing what makes you happy. Make the most of all the opportunities you have. Have an awesome week ahead!
Thanks a lot Bro. Your comments are always so compact with wisdom. Have an amazing week yourself. Cheers
I wish you all the best in this journey, may it be the beginning of wonderful things
Amen! Amen!! Lani. Thank you ???
To be sincere BMG. Any time I open my twitter app, your handle is always the next thing I check. Am always encouraged with your courage. Girl keep facing the giant and pulling them down..
Thanks a lot Lekan. I’m so glad that what I share helps you be more courageous. I try, it is difficult and some days I am so scared but we gotta keep moving through the uncertainty. Keep striving!
Wow! You are one courageous girl. I have also read the book Subtle art of not giving a fuck, and it changed my perspective on a lot of things. I hope you find the fulfilment that you seek because, at end of the day, that is all that matters. I also promised myself that I will not settle for anything that I’m not happy with, not after taking a life-changing decision like moving to Canada. Dem no swear for us abeg. I wish u all the best dear.
Hahahaha! Thank you Joy. Mark Manson is a pretty awesome guy. I’d heard great reviews about the book and thought it was a lot of hype until I picked it up. Thank you for your comments. Indeed, Canada is ours to explore and thrive. May the road rise to meet us all
Okay, wow. I’ve been following your posts religiously and I’ve got to say this, I really admire your courage. I plan to switch careers when I land but I’m just so nervous about the entire process. I mean after studying for almost 7 years and working, the thought of starting afresh gives me butterflies. I guess I’ll have to take it one day at a time and hope all goes well.
Best of luck in your endavours.
P.S. You really inspire me
Hi Antoinette.. be like Nike and just do it! I’m discovering that when we are truly fulfilled our quality of life improves and those around us are better for it. Change is never easy or comfortable but I hope and trust that it is worth it in the end. Cheers
Well done. I applaud you. Running your own business on your own terms is the way to go. That is what I realized I would enjoy doing in Canada – running my own shit and getting paid for it.
Amen to that! Are you in Canada already? What are you doing business wise now?
Oh my! This post and the comments are giving me life!!!
You won’t understand.
I can so relate to this.
That’s for sharing. Sometimes its inspiring to read someone going through a phase one is going through so they know they are sane and not losing it.
I’m glad dear Tamie. We are all trying to figure out this life oh. It will be good to us inshaallah
I admire your courage and I wish you well. Your blog has been so inspiring and an eye opener for me since I’m also working on moving to our country Canada.i understand being lost cos that’s the zone I’m at right now but a fresh start in a system that works gives me hope to grow and do exploits. Congratulations on the new chapter!
Thanks a lot Busola. You will do fine once you settle in
Just a heads up!…OSAP requires your tax clearance from the previous year. Since you landed this year, you’d have to use your Nigerian tax clearance for 2017. I suggest you work on getting it now if you don’t have it or talk to your previous employer about providing you with a letter and maybe attaching an affidavit showing how much you earned. Truth be told, your financial aid office will be the best place to seek more information. If you’re unsatisfied with the information provided by one aid officer, seek a second opinion. In the event that you can’t provide the tax report or alternatives in lieu, your OSAP grants will be converted to loans which is not fun!….best wishes on your new journey. NB
Hi N B, thanks for the info. I’m currently trying to unravel this piece. I don’t have my tax clearance from my employer in Nigeria and it’s been a bit of a headache trying to figure out paper work for this part of my application. I’m speaking to my financial aid office at school but no headway yet.
Your blog is awesome!
Awwwwwww… Thank you Funmilola. You are awesome for saying that ???
What would you like to see on the blog?