When I made the first trip downtown last week, my host Z had warned me to watch out for weirdos I could run into there. In her words, ‘the sun brings them out of their shell’. And those words were like a prophecy.
That first time, I’d travelled downtown for a job interview- one of those survival jobs for newly landed migrants. On arrival to the interview venue, I realized I had some time to kill before the beginning of the interview and went to grab a light lunch at the McDonald’s on the opposite street. The things my eyes saw in that place ehn took me a long while to digest. From a guy who sat opposite me munching his food loudly, with mustard and fries decorating his nose and chin; to a lady who cursed out her own brains after spilling coffee on herself, her chair and her five bags filled to the brim with all sorts of household items. Then there was an older man who sat at the edge of one of the chairs reading his newspaper like a retired US SEAL. Every once in a while he’d look up and arrest me with his piercing gaze. There was also a homeless lady who after eating free lunch refused to leave the cafe and had to practically be forced outside, back on the streets. Then, her benefactor – a middle-aged man proceeded to inform the whole cafe- proudly I imagine- on how he had bought a homeless woman free lunch and by this singular act had secured himself a first class ticket to heaven.????
Today, as I headed downtown again, the crazies were waiting for me, but this time- in Starbucks. I was downtown for the 2nd level interview of this same survival job. In true hustler style, candidates were split up into groups and due to space constraints, we had to find cafes around the area for group interviews. That’s how a young Congolese lady and I were paired to interview with this sweet Colombian lady- A. A decided to take us to Starbucks. We selected a table and began the interview in earnest.
Suddenly I felt someone watching me. I turned to my left and saw this Caucasian guy, scruffily dressed, with a ring of what suspectingly looked like milk around his mouth staring. Every time A, the Congolese lady or myself spoke, Mr. Milk would switch his gaze from either one of us. His stare was sooooo spooky and he never blinked.???
I turned to the ladies to check their level of discomfort if any, but they carried on the conversation as if nothing was amiss. I looked around the cafe, especially to the cafe attendant at the till to see if anyone was watching this strange behavior unfold. Again, nothing. After about two minutes, Mr. Milk got up from his chair and came and stood right next to me. I reckon he was probably about a foot away. He continued with his frightening gaze, and this time I could hear him breathing heavily. Mehn, I almost peed myself. ?????
God knows if I was Lagos, at the minimum, I would have gotten up from my table and left the cafe. Unfortunately, this is Canada and I was not sure how to react here. A carried on with the interview, giving us time to respond but your girl was listening with one?only. I watched Mr. Milk from the side of my left eye for any strange moves.
Thankfully, the interview came to an end, and we could leave Starbucks. I promptly walked out without so much as a backward glance to check to see if anyone was following me, as I heaved a huge sigh of relief.??
I couldn’t help but wonder to myself why someone who looked and acted mentally ill was strolling around town, making other people uncomfortable. Abi, is this not Canada again? The land flowing with err… milk and err… honey??????
16 comments
Wow! Wow! Wow! Ive been looking for a blog like this. You write so well and witty at the same time. I’ve gobbled up like 5 posts already and it’s still not enough. I pray you get a job soon and an apartment too.
Awwwwwwwww! Adaeze, thank you so, so much. For someone who has struggled with deciding if I should blog about my Canada experience, this sure warms my heart. Thank you so so much and amen to finding a job, a house and getting settled here. Please feel free to stop by anytime and spread the word. Hugs!
loooool.
thus would make for such a good film. you write so well and the sequence of events can literally be picture. Hope you get a great job soon, and not a survival job o.
Hahaha!! Thank you much. Your words give me life. I’m glad you enjoyed it and I still have the visual image in my mind. Who knows where this is taking me??
Keep reading on, I’ll share updates of my job search
I could literally picture everything you were saying. And also somehow in my head, I saw Mr Milk following you ???. Please don’t stop blogging.
Hahahaha. If that Mr Milk man had chased me, aswear I for pick race. I was just playing cool because I was interviewing.
Got here through your twitter handle and I must confess I’m addicted to your blog already. Congratulations on securing a job and wish you a more gracious and favoured stay while we back home continue to arrange ourselves to join you over there.
Thanks a lot Doliepop for stopping by and for your kind wishes
insurance cover you nau…. still naija breed with superpower to handle weirdos…. keep doing your thing, nice one
Looool. Thanks Banji. Hmmmmm, you know here you need to handle weirdos with finesse. You can’t be like, ‘shey o ya werey?’ They wee just arrest me for my mother ???
Hahaha Though spooky this was funny.
Surprised your companions were just cool.
My dear… If I was in Lagos ehn or I wasn’t in a job interview process, I’d have gotten up right there and then and walked far far away from that guy
That’s were alaso, it’s a pity Nigeria weather permits nakedness, who born mad person to naked for Canada, NA to turn ice block?
Loooool. I think as well if one went naked here, the authorities will definitely get them to a shelter or something
Canada, land flowing with Mr Milk and honey.
Hahaha!!!! Nice remix Kunski. I wasn’t expecting that kind of milk ooo